How To Resolve Conflicts Without Affecting Children
It is always important to know how to resolve conflicts, but it is especially important when you have or are going to have a family. If you do not know how to resolve conflicts in a good way, it can have a serious impact on the children.
Conflicts are natural
Doctors Les and Leslie Parrot believe that conflicts are completely natural in intimate relationships. Quarreling is not always bad; sometimes they present an opportunity to develop.
Just because you do not quarrel does not guarantee that you will always have a great relationship. In fact, couples who do not quarrel actually run the risk of continuing to carry on unresolved issues.
According to Les and Leslie, couples who avoid confrontations instead try to manage their emotions in other, often ineffective, ways. This can lead to depression, overeating and physical illnesses.
Gloria and Victoria Pérez have written a book in which they say that conflicts are neither positive nor negative. Instead, it is about how to handle them.
Conflicts can, however, be very hurtful if you focus on things that are not important, if you behave irresponsibly or if you say nasty things. All this only makes the situation worse.
How to resolve conflicts without affecting children
- Manage the conflict at the right time and place. For example, go through the problem when the children are not at home. Also, make sure you have time to go through the problem while you are both calm.
- Postpone the conflict. If one of you does not feel like dealing with the problem at the moment, you can wait a bit. However, do not wait more than one day.
- Pray for a break. If the situation becomes too angry, you can take a break and calm down before you take up the subject again.
When children are present in conflicts
It is not always possible to avoid quarrels while the children are nearby. If this happens, it is important that you follow certain steps so that they do not get hurt.
- Explain to them that they are not the problem. Sometimes when children see their parents arguing, they think they are responsible. Say that the quarrel is only between the two of you, and that it’s not about them. Also say that you are trying to find a solution, without telling what the problem is about.
- Be a role model. Turn the tables so that the children see the noise as an opportunity to learn something. Teach them how to resolve a conflict in a constructive way. Show how a calm discussion is based on mutual respect. Then talk to each other politely so that you can understand each other better.
Why is it so important to resolve conflicts in a way that does not affect children?
It is very important for both you and your partner that you learn to solve problems in a constructive way. By understanding each other’s differences, you make it easier for you to find solutions together and you then feel more united and positive about the relationship.
If the children see that you handle conflicts in this way, they will learn to handle their own problems in the same way.
