I Will Teach You To Value Yourself, My Child

I’ll teach you to value yourself, my child. I’ll show you that you are worthy of the world. You can dream big, because your legs are strong and your mind is free to overcome all obstacles and reach the stars. I will teach you humility, but also to respect yourself.

This message, this idea, is something that we all, mothers, fathers and educators, have in mind. But Wayne Dyer explains in his book Your Erronous Zones that when you love yourself enough, the disapproval of others will not matter. This is something that we, as adults, often know. But this is not always the case for children.

An upbringing with a lot of disapproval and criticism – something we often think gives children “life lessons” – can actually lead to low self-esteem both long-term and short-term; the child then grows up to be constantly dependent on what others say or do.

Unfortunately, it is not easy to promote a child’s self-esteem to become healthy and strong, and for a very simple reason: if mother and father do not value themselves, they transfer their own weakness and insecurities to the child.

Something we have already said many times on Being a mother is that you should invest in your own well-being, your mental health and your personal growth. If you are happy, you will also convey happiness. If you know how to bring happiness, you will give the world strong men and women.

The task at hand, the effort, is worth it. Therefore, we suggest that you have the following ideas in mind:

I’ll teach you to value yourself through play

Symbolic play is an excellent strategy through which children are taught values ​​and the right coping mechanisms.

A simple but effective way is with dolls, stuffed animals or Lego divers.

• You can create stories: “Kalle’s classmate calls him ugly and stupid. What can you say to help him? If you were Kalle, what would you think? How would you react? Do you really think he’s stupid and ugly just because another child said that? ”

Use positive encouragement

Knowing how to discipline children is an art that not all mothers and fathers unfortunately possess. You must never find yourself in the typical situation where you say “you have broken something again, you are the worst child in the world” or “you failed the test because you are bad at math, your brother works much harder than you.”

• Positive encouragement is to show the child what she did wrong and how she can improve in the future.
• With positive encouragement, you must never make compromises.
• At the same time, one should try to help the child feel more confident: “I know you made a mistake, but mother believes in you and knows that you will do better next time.”

Avoid incredible or exaggerated compliments

Some words, phrases and adjectives that are usually positive are in some situations perhaps not so useful for self-improvement; phrases such as “You are the most beautiful child in the world”, “you are the smartest child in the world” or the way you praise the child’s drawing by just saying “it’s great”.

Positive encouragement, such as actually promoting the child’s self-esteem, must be honest, logical, proportionate and, above all, true.

• Therefore , it is important that you tailor the compliment: “you are a responsible child and I love you for who you are; I know you will achieve what you set your sights on because you know how to work hard. Even if you make mistakes, I will be there for you. ”
• Be objective with your assessment and make it useful for the child: “I like this drawing, but I think this color would have been better, do not you think?”

I will teach you to value yourself through self-reliance and responsibility

To promote good self-esteem, it is important that the child has responsibility and that she learns to be independent. In this way, she will feel proud of her achievements and skills.

However, her self-reliance will always depend on her ability and how she shows that she can successfully shoulder certain responsibilities.

Children show us when the time is right; that is why we as parents must be agile enablers, show counselors who know when and how to give the child wings that strengthen its roots.