The Need For A Healthy Connection To Independence

Attachment is the basis for maturity, and a result of a deep and caring relationship is the quality that is created in a child that makes it its own person – ie. independence. A healthy connection between parents and children is what creates their independence.

How do we help the child on the path to this independence? If you have ever heard the words “I can do it myself”, you have witnessed a basic example of this energy in a child. If you have an independent child, it’s because it has a healthy connection to its parents, and it’s thanks to you.

When a child’s need for attachment is met, they shift their energy toward exploration, interest, and curiosity and begin to form their personal perceptions and even goals. This will help your child get a full development!

The need for a healthy connection to independence

A preschooler can express his or her desire for independence through phrases such as, “I want to do it myself!” or “I can do it!” A three-year-old can, for example, put on his own trousers or fasten his own seat belt in the car. They may have to struggle a bit to do this, but just the fact that they are trying to do it on their own is only very positive for their development. When this happens, it is because their parents meet their emotional needs.

The need for closeness, warmth, security and belonging is great in young children, and helping them achieve this level of satisfaction is a great achievement. Strong relationships help children feel secure and confident and make them secure on their way forward in life.

When a child tells you that they want to do something for themselves, it tries to expand its boundaries of who it is. The life force to become a unique and independent person is in each of us, but the key to unlocking it lies in those relationships that fulfill and confirm them.

Strong connection between parents and children

A strong connection means that they dare to become independent and their own person. It makes them dare to move through their world with their own preferences, purposes, ideas and initiatives. One of the most important things that parents can give their children is independence and responsibility.

This is not something we can teach a child, but we can make it easier for them to develop it . The path to “I can do it myself” and independence lies in first satisfying their need to be dependent on us, and then making them realize that they can do things on their own.

When children feel confident that we will be there for them, they can dive into new environments that they themselves create. They then have the freedom to discover new places because they know that there is always a home to return to. We all need to feel this anchor, and our relationships are our anchors.

In order for our children to dare to begin to discover their independence and ability, we should not push them, but rather we should meet their needs. When they have learned all we have to offer them, the day comes when they look at us with defiance and dignity, and they say, “Do not help me, I can myself!” We should not feel offended by this – but see it as the fruit of our custody and care.

The goal of parenthood is to create independent and happy beings

The goal of parenting is to help children become vibrant and independent people. While today’s “I can do it myself” may seem small and insignificant, it is a building block for tomorrow’s teens and adults.

During adolescence, children think “I can myself” to cross the bridge from childhood to adulthood. The uncertainty that arises at this time, together with reduced dependence on the parents, they will connect with their child expression “I can myself”.

Independence and healthy connection with the parents

When there is a healthy connection between children and parents, they will grow up knowing that they can achieve whatever they want. Observing a young adult filled with this energy is a wonderful sight, and one can easily become curious about the parents behind this creature.

It is parents who have met their children’s need for attachment throughout their upbringing. They have given them space to become their own person. To achieve this, it is important that you work to create a healthy connection for your children. To do this, you can keep the following keys in mind:

• Do not do everything for your child. Teach them to do things themselves and offer your help only when needed. Then, as they learn to do things more independently, step back gradually and provide less assistance.
• Give encouragement and support when they need it. Show your support and unconditional love with encouraging words, hugs and kisses, every day.
• Give your children your undivided attention.
• Spend quality time with them every day.
• Read fairy tales and books until bedtime every night.
• Play games and play games with your children and do not be afraid to spoil yourself and offer laughter.

With these tips, you can help your children grow up happy and independent, where they know how important it is to manage things on their own. They need you as a guide on the path of life, but not to do things for them.