Giving Your Children What They Need Is Not Pampering Them
If you are a mother, you have probably been told that you pamper your children. Either because you buy something they like, because you like to carry them in your arms or simply because you listen to their opinions and work with their feelings instead of being authoritarian all the time. But giving your children what they need is your job as a mother.
You may have also heard that in the future you will regret it, because you will not be able to control your children if they are spoiled.
You probably hate, just like we do, listening to all these “tips” where people accuse you of pampering your children. They make it appear that you are doing wrong by being “too kind”. But despite the fact that there are many who are more than happy to give us all this “advice”, most do so with the best of intentions. Ultimately, it is your instinct that must decide what to do. You just have to listen to yourself and no one else.
When a child receives a lot of love from his parents, when they hug the child, kiss it, sleep with it… None of it affects the child negatively, rather the opposite. It benefits the child very much. Your child will not become an expert at manipulating or dominating you just because you show him or her all your love, regardless of the time of day.
Your children need to know you and love you
To create a stable emotional connection with their parents, a child must feel their touch every day. It lets the child know that they are there to protect him or her and it gives the child security and emotional comfort. It helps the child to develop in a healthy way and not to a tyrant, as many believe. A child needs you. Rules and boundaries must eventually be introduced, but giving love will never pamper your child.
A baby is not used to the outside world. He lay for a long time in his mother’s womb, safe and secure. The outside world is the opposite of comfort and security: there are loud noises, countless voices, a lot of light, weather and wind, people around…
Everything is overwhelming and can scare the baby. She needs security and safety in the familiar and familiar. The security of a mother who is by her side, and who, if necessary, comes to her at once.
This is why the mother’s voice is so important for a baby. Her smell, her skin, her smile and all her love. When a mother gives her little baby the love he needs, she creates a very special emotional bond where the child’s fear and insecurity weaken and fade away.
He knows that his mother and father are by his side to take care of him. And then it suddenly feels like the strange world is not as awful…
You will not pamper her
No. Do not worry about giving your child everything she needs; you will not risk pampering her. You will only make your child safe and happy because she belongs to a family that loves her. The first months of life are the most important in the development of a small person. That’s why you need to be there for your baby. You need to give your baby all the love she needs from you.
At birth, your baby is completely dependent on you, in every way. But this addiction will not last forever and little by little, as he grows up, he will show you his independence. It is something you must respect, empower and guide.
Your child will not be a child all his life, and therefore it is important that you enjoy this beautiful time while you can.
Do not let your baby cry himself to sleep
You do not have to make your baby cry in the crib… in fact you should not. Pick him up and hold him in your arms until he calms down. Make him feel that if you are by his side, everything will go well. When you have your baby in your arms, you will all be happier.
It will not lead to any disaster in the future, your child will not become an expert at manipulating… He will only know that he has a mother and father who knows how to give him all the love he deserves: your unconditional love.
