Be Determined: Setting Boundaries For Children

Being able to be determined is an ability that has many benefits. For parents, it is undeniably an important ability when it comes to enduring both outbursts and discussions with children.

Using the word “no” to children can really be a double-edged sword. On the one hand, by giving in too easily, you can make the children believe that they have power over their parents and thus can manipulate you. You need to make sure you do not lose your authority, as it is not good for anyone.

On the other hand , do not be too determined. If you shout “no” as soon as your child asks you for something, he or she may want to rebel and start behaving badly.

How can you regulate your determination so that it becomes a constructive tool? In this article we will give you some tips.

What does it mean to be determined?

Determination is an important trait in many different ways. It really consists of knowing how to respect everyone’s rights,  thoughts and starting points, as well as a willingness to act in a special way.

Regardless of whether you are in a social or work-related situation, it is good to know how to refuse to agree to exaggerated wishes. It is so important that it can help you avoid stress, anxiety or frustration that you would otherwise feel from doing things you do not want and do not have to do.

The same thing happens when you talk to your children, which can be really difficult at times. If you do not set boundaries, you may be sending the wrong message to your children or you may be mismanaging your responsibilities.

Setting boundaries for children is about finding a balance

However, it is  not that easy. If we all went through life and said no to everything and opposed us all, the world would be a horrible place. Doing someone a favor and compromising would not occur at all.

The goal is to find the right balance. Being determined in a relationship means that you know when to give in and when to stand up for yourself. You need to identify what is fair and what is not.

Of course  , this is not easy, but you can definitely achieve it. Here are some tips to keep in mind when negotiating with your children:

• Start a conversation. It is pointless to hold on to your opinions without thinking about the needs of others. You have to listen and try to see things from their point of view.
• Know how to explain things. It’s just as it sounds, you need to make sure your arguments are as clear as possible. To quarrel just for the sake of argument is completely unnecessary. If, on the other hand, you can prove your decision, your child will understand you.

• Hold your position. If you are completely convinced and will not change your mind, defend your opinion. If you give up, your child will assume that you are vulnerable. Then the child will use this against you at an appropriate time. Never doubt yourself either. Your tone, your facial expressions and your gestures should back up what you say.
• Be proactive. At the same time as you stand by your opinion, you can offer alternatives that also suit you. Hopefully you can find a good compromise and avoid trouble.

Why are you unable to set boundaries for children?

Determination and self-esteem are closely linked. Usually, if you are confident in yourself, you can also communicate your thoughts and decisions without hesitation.

If not, you may fall into a negative circle. You may not respect your own decisions because you do not think you deserve it. As a result, others will not respect you, and your self-esteem will continue to decline.

It’s good to want to be second to none and be liked, but it must not be too high a price. You should not try to win your child’s heart by giving up or not setting boundaries at all. 

Finally, it is important to point out that you must above all be calm and show respect. You must be focused and willing to establish open and honest communication with the other party.

After all, you build your relationship with your children every day. Every day offers new challenges. And being determined and setting boundaries can prove to be a good decision, when done right.