Even Little Siblings Can Feel Jealous

The relationship between siblings is one of the most special and rewarding relationships there is. However, it is possible that conflicts and rivalries arise on certain occasions. And although this is more often the case with the older sibling, we can see that even younger siblings can feel jealous.

Although it is never pleasant to see a child feel bad, all parents are prepared for jealousy to appear in their firstborn child after the arrival of a new sibling. But what happens when it is the younger sibling who manifests these insecure behaviors?

Jealousy between siblings

Jealousy can manifest itself in different ways in different situations, but it is common for jealousy to make the child irritated or angry. It can cry more than usual and become more demanding, dependent or clingy on the parents.

Jealous children can also be dismissive of their siblings or have unpleasant behavior towards them. Especially when it is the younger sibling who experiences jealousy, this often tries to imitate the older sibling and tries to achieve the same achievements and skills as it does.

Interestingly, the trigger for all of these behaviors is the fear of losing parental affection and attention. Now it is understandable to all of us that an older sibling may feel a fear of losing his or her place to a new family member. But how do we explain the prevalence of jealousy in younger siblings? In fact, this feeling is not due to that age.

Why does jealousy occur in younger siblings?

Below we address some of the factors that cause jealousy to occur in younger siblings.

Little siblings may feel jealous due to an evolutionary need

Jealousy between siblings is most common between 18 months and five years, as it is during this time that attachment develops and strengthens. Children are completely dependent on their parents, which is why it is logical that they fear losing their care and want to try to maintain it in every way.

Jealousy is also more common the smaller the age difference between siblings. This is because their needs are relatively similar which means they need the same attention from their parents. Two children under the age of two must both be breastfed, held, given a nappy change, etc. And parents may not be able to meet both of their needs at the same time.

The dynamics of the family can make the little siblings feel jealous

At the same time, jealousy in younger siblings often occurs due to certain behaviors in the parents. It is common for the older child to have certain privileges and benefits and be treated differently compared to younger siblings.

It is also common for parents to delegate responsibility to older children and give them some “power” over the other siblings, which is not always welcome. Making comparisons between the two children is also a harmful method that can trigger rivalries.

The parents’ educational style also plays an important role. In this sense, both too much permission and the absence of boundaries, as well as the lack of affection and care, can create a continuous need for affection in children and an inability to share their space with others.

Little siblings may feel jealous due to inherent characteristics

Finally , we must take into account the temperament of the child. The toddlers who are more sensitive, but also those who are less sensitive but with a low tolerance for change and frustration, are more likely to experience this feeling.

Sometimes it is not the fact that parents treat a sibling unfairly that causes jealousy. It may rather be a function of the child’s distorted perception. In these cases, the parents’ increased attention and care will not be entirely sufficient to reduce jealousy.

Can you prevent jealousy in younger siblings?

Although there is a component in children’s jealousy that may be congenital, the way in which the family handles jealousy is very important. Therefore, it is important to avoid making comparisons between siblings and to be fair when it comes to equal treatment and privileges. It is important to devote enough time and attention to each child individually.

A loving style of upbringing with consistent boundaries can also reduce the likelihood of jealousy. But above all, it is important to understand the child’s insecurities and validate his feelings. If jealousy persists or creates significant discomfort in your child, it may be a good idea to seek professional advice.