The Most Powerful Thing You Can Say To Other Mothers

Denise Stirk wrote a truly heartbreaking piece in which she shares her personal experience in this complex situation: “What do you say to a mother who has lost her child?” A series of significant situations made her reflect on this. Finally, she discovered the most powerful thing you can say to other mothers.

Below we share some thoughts on Denise’s case that have affected the world. This brave, empathetic and understanding mother who arose from a whirlwind of emotions. How she expressed her emotional confusion with her own sincere words.

How can you address another mom’s pain?

In this case, the thoughtful and introspective heroine tells of a tragic event. Nothing  but the tragic loss of her friend’s loss of her 21-month-old daughter that undoubtedly means irreparable grief and suffering for anyone who has experienced motherhood.

She decided to travel there so she could be there for her friend during these difficult times. At the sight of the grieving mother, many questions arose. How can I find the right words to comfort her? How do I avoid saying the wrong thing?

In the pursuit of the perfect words, she realized that she could never fully relate to her grief. With two healthy children at home, it felt like there was nothing she could say because she did not go through this. Regardless, armed with biblical phrases and proverbs, she hurried to her friend’s side to comfort her.

Then she found a million unexpected comforting words that were extremely powerful and life-changing. It was this strong mother who was in a moment of pain who said something that affected her fundamentally. That was perhaps the simplest thing that could be said.

While she describes everything she had to go through with her little angel. What became her worst nightmare, she said, beaten with sadness and with tears running down her cheeks: You are a mother . This sentence took the air out of her and illustrated the extent of her grief and the level of her pain.

The secret to addressing another mother and her grief lies in the simplest and most meaningful bond: motherhood. Because even though not everyone knows what it’s like to lose a child, we all know how happy it is to have one.

To understand other mothers

This was the starting point that helped Denise understand the hell another mother was experiencing. Losing one’s child is, of course, something that every mother fears. The simplicity of this fact and the effect of this fundamental truth connected her with other mothers.

The way we choose to raise and educate our children has no significance here. We all have something in common: our heart’s bond with our children. This is also what brought her together with her mother who had just been diagnosed with breast cancer.

And in the waiting room for that treatment, Denise observed a mother of a three-year-old. He shone proudly with his colorful superman’s cloak over his hospital suit. The mother rocked him in her arms and whispered something in his ear. She felt his blood cool and his heart stop. Denise suffered with this second mother.

With an ocean of tears running from her eyes, she remembered what her friend had said: “You are a mother.” This was something she thought of later when a restaurant worker was struggling to get child care. She noticed her anger and anxiety; another blow to the heart in this chain of events that were not random but temporary.

“You are a mother” is powerful for other mothers

Motherhood is the thread that brings us all together. All types of mothers, rich and poor, those whose children are healthy or sick, those who breastfeed or use compensation. Everyone is held together by the same feeling: a crazy love that can make our hearts stop.

And this fact can lead to pain. This is why silly commercials can so easily provoke tears in mothers. This is also why they may cry a little when they leave their child at school on the first day. This explains why every disease, no matter how small, frightens them terribly.

This is why  their hearts ache at miscarriage or infertility. That is why they tremble before the day when their children move away from home. And that’s also why the death of another mother’s child can be heartbreaking. So, of course, we want to try to comfort these mothers when they are going through a difficult time.

Just hug them and do not bother with the search for some perfect words, because they do not exist. The most powerful thing you can say to other mothers is this: “I understand. I am also a mother. ”